Thursday, May 6, 2010

Brides to Be

An intimate sexual relationship in marriage is vital. Married couples should strive to achieve a physically relationship that can renew and sustain their love for each other. The tender feelings couples can capture with physical intimacy cannot be found elsewhere in life. Couples can experience intimacy in many more ways than just physical interaction. The process of obtaining a marriage that is an intimate one, is a process that begins before marriage and continues long after. There are many areas in which couples can grow together- socially, emotionally, spiritually, cognitively, financially, and physically. When you are considering marriage with a lucky chap be sure to understand him as best you can in each of these areas. Be sure to discuss your attitudes about sex to see if both of yours are sound, healthy, and compatible. Ask him what his expectations are and talk to him about yours.

Members of the opposite sex are socialized to respond and think differently about affection starting long before marriage. (While this is a generalization) Typically women crave romance and men crave physical intimacy. Just consider the focus for many girls on her wedding day. For many women there is tons of emphasis on the event and the ceremony details including cake, flowers, and dress. For most men, the honeymoon is where their mind is. While both men and women can enjoy romance and physical affection, behavioral scientists have noticed that men and women actually internalize each differently. It is critical for many women to feel emotionally nurtured in order to be aroused. For many men they must first share physical closeness to their partner before they can become acutely aware of her emotional needs. Understanding these differences in men and women can be very helpful to you as you start this voyage called marriage. Misunderstandings and hurt feelings often happen because of a lack of awareness. So be aware what your future husband NEEDS to feel loved and keep track of how that evolves once you are married.

Many young people enter marriage with little to no education about relationships. Seek out the best possible opportunities to prepare yourself for marriage. Talk with those you trust that do have good marriages to gain insight but above all talk with the person you are considering marriage with about as much as you can before you make such a huge commitment. Realize that the learning curve is infinite.

Once married it is wise to consider seriously with each other if your sexual emphasis is about a loving and sweet moment for you two to share or if you are pressured to make it a performance. Love is about meeting the needs of others and not self gratification but the ironic part is that when you are really in love with someone and they are with you- it is almost impossible not to be satisfied yourself. Receiving love is wonderful when you can comfortably know that you have also given it. Choose to create a marital culture of affirmation and thoughtfulness and once you have set the tone, there is a good chance he will match it. Keep in mind that issues with intimacy, both emotional and physical, have been overcome by many couples via open and honest communication and willingness to change.

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