Sunday, September 26, 2010

Women: Inspiration and Enterprise

I just got back from an amazing weekend in New York City. I attended the WIE symposium. Women: Inspiration and Enterprise, put on a remarkable platform for women to celebrate, connect, and learn. I am so proud of all that women have accomplished and all that we add to the world. The United Nations Summit was being held at the same time as my event. Such amazing progress has been made by way of women’s issues. Even the fact that Girls and Women are on the agenda of the UN is progress from a few years ago.

Marianne Williamson spoke to something that I deeply believe in. She grew up in the first major wave of feminism. She and many women have looked at their mother’s life and decided that it wasn’t important enough. The years have taught her the mistake in her youthful beliefs.
Now her sense of what is divine, what is archetypal, and her sense of what is deeply moral and connected to a creator--- is that a woman’s role to take care of the children and the home. But what she realizes now is that this WORLD is our HOME and EVERY CHILD is our CHILDREN.

I just agree full heartedly that there is a divine sense of motherhood that goes beyond our own biological imperatives and we should look at all human suffering as our place for activism. My work with Child Rescue is a way for me to provide for my immediate little family but it is also a way for me to hopefully take care of my family at large, these children who are being bought and sold in our own country, and I am so humbled by the support we are getting to combat this most horrific of all evils. If people are not helping or contributing to the cause, I don’t think the problem is a lack of decency or compassion. We are in constant bombardment of the ultimate meaningless and most people just do not know this is happening.

So please visit our website and learn more and thank you for showing up naked with food to your spouse which ultimately means showing up with LOVE.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Body Image

Some of my readers who want to show up naked with food in their marriages have asked me how they can do so when they feel really unattractive and don’t like the idea of intimacy because of their insecurities. One reader asked me how to get over body issues. While I am no expert on this s subject I can share my thoughts from my own experiences and from my personal reading on the matter. I hope it is helpful.

Counselor M. Gary Neuman surveyed hundreds of cheating and noncheating husbands to get at the real reasons behind men's infidelity. Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife. "In most cases, he's cheating to fill an emotional void," Neuman says. "He feels a connection with the other woman, and sex comes along for the ride." He talks about if you're worried about infidelity, focus on making your relationship more loving and connected, not on getting your body just right or mastering new sexual positions.

Working on your figure may help you feel better about yourself and is certainly good for your health but also keep in mind that studies have shown it can play a real role in your sex life. Exercise has been proven to increase one’s sex drive. Why does exercise increase libido? The reasons exercise can give your sex life a boost is probably multi-factorial. Exercise gets the heart pumping and increases blood flow to all parts of the body including sexual organs which can enhance desire while enabling better sexual performance. But the biggest reason is self confidence. Being sexy is a state of mind.

Try finding a full-length mirror and strip down to nothing but skin. Take a good look at yourself, note your imperfections, say hi to your cellulite and then tell yourself that you must stop fretting about the things you don’t like about your body. The appearance of confidence will add more than enough sexiness to compensate for any physical imperfections. For most wives it is helpful to know that their husband wants you any way you come…. As long as it is naked with food ;)

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Emotional Rape

One of my dearest guy friends recently told me a story that needed to make the blog. He had been hanging out with a girl a little while and they had kissed a few times but it was still fairly new and not that serious. One day she came over as he was lying in his bed and demanded that they have a “DTR” or determine the relationship talk. She asked him how much he liked her, required what he thought of her, and insisted that they should become more committed. He felt so cornered and overwhelmed. She was relentless and it was really uncomfortable for him and unpleasant. He explained to me, which I totally agree with, that women often emotionally RAPE men. Women need verbal affirmation and security in what guys think about them. Women literally crave emotional connection the same way men CRAVE sex. If a man walked in a room, cornered his lady, and proceeded to “force” himself physically on her- we would call it rape and it would be a formal crime. I thought his insight was actually really profound.

Ladies… our needs and wants are fair but the next time we walk up to our men and try to “take” what we want from them emotionally let’s just keep this story in mind. Maybe instead, let’s GIVE the love we have been wanting and see how that plays out.