Some of my readers who want to show up naked with food in their marriages have asked me how they can do so when they feel really unattractive and don’t like the idea of intimacy because of their insecurities. One reader asked me how to get over body issues. While I am no expert on this s subject I can share my thoughts from my own experiences and from my personal reading on the matter. I hope it is helpful.Counselor M. Gary Neuman surveyed hundreds of cheating and noncheating husbands to get at the real reasons behind men's infidelity. Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife. "In most cases, he's cheating to fill an emotional void," Neuman says. "He feels a connection with the other woman, and sex comes along for the ride." He talks about if you're worried about infidelity, focus on making your relationship more loving and connected, not on getting your body just right or mastering new sexual positions.
Working on your figure may help you feel better about yourself and is certainly good for your health but also keep in mind that studies have shown it can play a real role in your sex life. Exercise has been proven to increase one’s sex drive. Why does exercise increase libido? The reasons exercise can give your sex life a boost is probably multi-factorial. Exercise gets the heart pumping and increases blood flow to all parts of the body including sexual organs which can enhance desire while enabling better sexual performance. But the biggest reason is self confidence. Being sexy is a state of mind.
Try finding a full-length mirror and strip down to nothing but skin. Take a good look at yourself, note your imperfections, say hi to your cellulite and then tell yourself that you must stop fretting about the things you don’t like about your body. The appearance of confidence will add more than enough sexiness to compensate for any physical imperfections. For most wives it is helpful to know that their husband wants you any way you come…. As long as it is naked with food ;)
My wife is a doughnut! Plain and simple. I love that she is a doughnut. I know that her shape is not ideal to her and she wants to change so that she can do more physically. I'm ok with that. Her shape is one facet of the beautiful woman she is - one! It is not what defines her. Sure when we were dating, she was the hottest woman around, sex on a stick stuff, and as I said the shape has changed but she is still the hottest woman around.
ReplyDeleteThe layers of our marriage that we have built over time have altered my perceptions of love and attraction. I find other women attractive as I do Vin Diesel from certain angles but that's normal and its the same process of attractiveness I apply when I see a new car, toy, house or whatever.
I know she loves me and maybe not for my once huge cannons that have gravitated to my waist line, but because I make her laugh uncontrollably without meaning to, or I can still surprise her when I need to. I know we're talking about body image but its just one...one of the many things that glue a marriage together.
Thanks again Lindsay, superwoman of the world.