Thursday, September 2, 2010

Emotional Rape

One of my dearest guy friends recently told me a story that needed to make the blog. He had been hanging out with a girl a little while and they had kissed a few times but it was still fairly new and not that serious. One day she came over as he was lying in his bed and demanded that they have a “DTR” or determine the relationship talk. She asked him how much he liked her, required what he thought of her, and insisted that they should become more committed. He felt so cornered and overwhelmed. She was relentless and it was really uncomfortable for him and unpleasant. He explained to me, which I totally agree with, that women often emotionally RAPE men. Women need verbal affirmation and security in what guys think about them. Women literally crave emotional connection the same way men CRAVE sex. If a man walked in a room, cornered his lady, and proceeded to “force” himself physically on her- we would call it rape and it would be a formal crime. I thought his insight was actually really profound.

Ladies… our needs and wants are fair but the next time we walk up to our men and try to “take” what we want from them emotionally let’s just keep this story in mind. Maybe instead, let’s GIVE the love we have been wanting and see how that plays out.

3 comments:

  1. Hey Lindsay, you know, I'm a huge fan of "open your mouth and speak" This woman was well within her boundaries to insist that they take their relationship to another level. How she enforces her point of view may be the problem. But I think we need to remember that while we may call it emotional rape for a man, he also has the opportunity to open his mouth and speak and not cower or capitulate. That's a poor and detrimental display of open communication. In fact considering the many documented occasions highlighting the prodigiously Grand Canyon like levels on which men and women communicate, I say it’s a great feat that we actually see eye to eye as often as we do. If we communicate with integrity and real heartfelt honesty with our partners, our marriages/relationships then become partnerships of development rather than repair. What a platform from which to see the love of your life. Love you heaps - keep up this amazing and great work.

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  2. I love your comments Rob.... such a stud! Thank you for reading and contributing. Sorry my last comment got removed- it basically said this too ;)

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