Sunday, July 31, 2011

How Important is Sex?

One reader sent this article to me. Another reader sent me this question and I love it because I can so relate!

"So I have been keeping up on your posts, and I love them. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only woman who has this question that I wanted to bring up to you, just to consider as a topic for your blog. My biggest challenge with an active sex life is that for the 6 years before we got married, I was every bit as horny as he was, and looked forward to having a long make-out, or more every time I saw him. And of course the beginning of our marriage was that way too. I don't know if it was the birth control, or the fact that it's no longer taboo to have sex or what, but that constant buzzing of hotness isn't there anymore. I used to feel turned on when he'd just stroke my arm. Now it feels like I have to pull my sex drive out of the freezer, warm it up, then let it rev a while before I'm ready to go out for a spin. If that makes sense.

Now granted, I still try and throw myself into a quicky on a regular basis, and he is a patient guy. Every time we have sex, he makes sure I enjoy it is much as he does. But, it would just be soooo much easier if I had that same heightened level of arousal that I had for 6 years leading up to our marriage. I swear I'm not defective. I still find my husband attractive, but it just takes me so much more to get going. Which makes it harder to want to start the process of getting me warmed up after a long day. Any tips you've found that work in increasing the sex drive? After all, women reach their sexual prime in their late 20's and early 30's, and I feel like I've gone backward!!"

I have seen so many articles and forums where women express the exact same feelings and experience. When I was first married I swear as I was a man in how much I needed "IT". I still love love love sexy time but it is such a different dynamic than it was in the begining. I personally think it HAS to be this way or we would be jumping eachothers bones so much we wouldn't get anything done. Mother Nature must pull the hormone cocktail off the table at sometime in order for us to progress as a human race. People in marriage still enjoy it well into their twilight years (yep, I know for a lot of people that is yucky to think about so don't think to much about it.) But I sure hope as an old gal, I am game! I think there is a sweetness that comes with physical intimacy that is hard to match, especially in a loving and safe marriage.

So dear reader, you are super normal, from all I have read and what the experts are indicating with research... but it sounds like you have the right attitude. You have to romance yourself and get your "head in the game". Here are some of the tips I found online:

#1. Eat healthy
#2. Exercise
#3. Reduce obligations
#4. Get enough sleep
#5. Get connected

Another thing to consider if you find you really really have a low libido is to see a medical professional, there are somethings they might be able to help bring back that "lovin' feeling".

Predictor of Happiness

Just another example that about how Showing up Naked with Food can help your relationship. One of my dear friends sent me this article.

“Researchers, who studied responses from adults in the United States, Brazil, Germany, Japan and Spain, also discovered that men were more likely to be happy in their relationship and that frequent kissing or cuddling was an accurate predictor of happiness for men.”