Saturday, June 23, 2012

Wired Differently

This image is not only funny, it is true. This is basically visually saying what I try to convey with Show Up Naked with Food ... men are simple. I do not mean this in a condescending way for even one moment... in fact I am often entirely jealous of how straight forwardly men seem to both think, speak, and feel. The catch phrase name for my blog came from a joke I once heard. It starts with the question, "What does it take to make a woman happy?" followed by a long exhaustive list of things men should do for their woman like: help with children, listen to her, make her feel beautiful, foot messages, buy her flowers, clean the house, be nice to her mother, don't forget important romantic details, get her door, treat her as an equal, treat her as a queen, give her alone time, be with her whenever she wants, actually enjoy watching her tv shows, etc. Then the question is asked, "What does it take to make a man happy?" the response- "Show up naked with food."

A great deal of research has been done on the fact that:

Men and women THINK and SPEAK differently.

Men think compartmentally and women think globally. A frustrating example of this is when couples get in an argument and wives will bring up something from the past. Men often cannot understand what that situation has to do with the current one. Speaking differences in us are very obvious. Women tend to speak in great detail and with many more words then men. Men often want to get to the bottom line and spare story telling. Women also use a lot of non-verbal cues and often speak in "code" by using hints. This is the classic husband asking wife how her day was situation and she says, "fine" and he doesn't catch her subtle pain behind the false response.

The way we feel inside about another is the #1 most important ingredient in any relationship. How soft and sincere is your heart? How unselfish and loving are you to your core? Do you really care for this person? The #2 most critical factor seems to be communication.

If a woman can learn the art of clear, direct, and respectful communication void of aggression with a loving delivery she will find a great deal of success in communicating with her man. I have not mastered this, but would love to. While I understand that men could learn to go deeper emotionally with their words and learn to open up and explore how they feel etc. I don't want to be the one to write about what men could do better on this blog. To me it is about looking in the mirror and seeing how WE as WIVES can be different, as this is the only way to effect any real change in our marriages.

How can you try to understand your husband better? Try today to extend yourself to think and speak more like your sweet husband and see if and how it makes a difference.  

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Show Up Naked With Food-esk Quotes

So, if this were indeed my final hour, these would be my words to you. I would not claim to pass on any secret of life... or any wisdom except the passionate plea of caring... Try to feel, in your heart's core, the reality of others. This is the most painful thing in the world, probably, and the most necessary. (Margaret Laurence)

What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other? (George Eliot)

It is far better to know our own weaknesses and failings than to point out those of others. (Jawaharlal Nehru)

The man who says, "I am right!" and who refuses to question his position in order to discover whether he is right, will continue to follow the line of his passions and prejudices, and will not acquire understanding. (J. Allen)

‎"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. if you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket safe, dark, motionless, airless it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." ~ C.S. Lewis

What is all this which would hinder you from loving? What is all this which you can win by self-love? The decree is that you *shall* love, but when you understand life and yourself, then it is as if you should not need to be commanded, because to love human beings is still the only thing worth living for; without this love you really do not live. (Søren Kierkegaard)


Monday, June 4, 2012

How to be Happy

I recently read this article and loved it. This life is all about trying to be happy and trying to make others happy too. Our marriages are the greatest place to start both because no relationship is more impartive to our well being but also because if we can't work it out with those we have committed to love ...we will most likely never overcome our inner weaknesses. The first three items mentioned in the article really hit home when it comes to marriages. This is some awesome advice.

1. Give up your need to always be right
2. Give up your need for control
3. Give up on blame

This is hard to do but it is the refiner's fire. If we can learn to love instead of blaming, controlling, and being prideful we will certainly bring joy to others and most definitely ourselves.