Saturday, June 23, 2012

Wired Differently

This image is not only funny, it is true. This is basically visually saying what I try to convey with Show Up Naked with Food ... men are simple. I do not mean this in a condescending way for even one moment... in fact I am often entirely jealous of how straight forwardly men seem to both think, speak, and feel. The catch phrase name for my blog came from a joke I once heard. It starts with the question, "What does it take to make a woman happy?" followed by a long exhaustive list of things men should do for their woman like: help with children, listen to her, make her feel beautiful, foot messages, buy her flowers, clean the house, be nice to her mother, don't forget important romantic details, get her door, treat her as an equal, treat her as a queen, give her alone time, be with her whenever she wants, actually enjoy watching her tv shows, etc. Then the question is asked, "What does it take to make a man happy?" the response- "Show up naked with food."

A great deal of research has been done on the fact that:

Men and women THINK and SPEAK differently.

Men think compartmentally and women think globally. A frustrating example of this is when couples get in an argument and wives will bring up something from the past. Men often cannot understand what that situation has to do with the current one. Speaking differences in us are very obvious. Women tend to speak in great detail and with many more words then men. Men often want to get to the bottom line and spare story telling. Women also use a lot of non-verbal cues and often speak in "code" by using hints. This is the classic husband asking wife how her day was situation and she says, "fine" and he doesn't catch her subtle pain behind the false response.

The way we feel inside about another is the #1 most important ingredient in any relationship. How soft and sincere is your heart? How unselfish and loving are you to your core? Do you really care for this person? The #2 most critical factor seems to be communication.

If a woman can learn the art of clear, direct, and respectful communication void of aggression with a loving delivery she will find a great deal of success in communicating with her man. I have not mastered this, but would love to. While I understand that men could learn to go deeper emotionally with their words and learn to open up and explore how they feel etc. I don't want to be the one to write about what men could do better on this blog. To me it is about looking in the mirror and seeing how WE as WIVES can be different, as this is the only way to effect any real change in our marriages.

How can you try to understand your husband better? Try today to extend yourself to think and speak more like your sweet husband and see if and how it makes a difference.  

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